A richer semester ~ with James Schaefer~
The Impact of the Positive on Our Students
As a teacher, I've learned how powerful that it can be to treat students with love and respect in ways that empower them. Indeed, we should never forget the important of relating positively with everyone, especially our students, so we can confirm our love and respect for them as we communicate on a daily basis. With that in mind, I'd like to share a story that I read in Tearing Down Walls and Building Bridges by O. S. Hawkins (1995).
The story involves a teacher in New York who wanted to honor each of the seniors in her high school, so she called them, one by one, to the front of the class and affirmed them for their unique contributions to the school. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters that read, “Who I Am Makes A Difference.”
Afterward, this teacher gave each student three more ribbons and encouraged the seniors to go out into the community and share this experience to at least one person who had touched their lives and present a ribbon to her or him. Then she asked the seniors to give that person some extra ribbons and encouraged him or her to do the same.
As this process spread throughout the community, a junior executive for a large firm was given a ribbon and two extra ribbons to give to someone else. He decided to acknowledge his boss, a man known for his gruff and grouchy demeanor. He sat his boss down and told him how much he admired his creative genius. He thanked his boss for the impact that the boss had on his life and pinned the ribbon on his boss’s coat, right above his heart.
The boss was moved by this act and quickly agreed to take an extra ribbon to pass on to someone else. That night, on his way home from work, he decided to honor his fourteen-year-old son, who had seemed depressed lately. The man knew that he wasn’t giving his son enough affirmation and love. He thought this would be a good opportunity to relay his feelings for his son.
Later that evening, the boss sat down with his son in the living room and told him about how his junior executive had said that he had admired his boss and gave him a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Then the boss told his son that, as he was driving home that night, he decided that he wanted to honor his son.
The boss told his son that he realized that when he came home after his hectic days at work, he didn’t pay enough attention to his son and that sometimes he would scream at his son about various things, including not getting good enough grades or for his bedroom being in a mess. Then the boss told his son that this night, he just wanted to sit there and let him know that he did make a difference to him. The boss even said, “Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You’re a great kid, and I love you!”
The startled boy began to sob and sob, and he couldn’t stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears: “I was planning on committing suicide tomorrow, Dad, because I didn’t think you loved me. Now I don’t need to.”
Jim Schaefer
English Department
Washtenaw Community College